Thursday, March 9
In Godís Time
Itís been a long time since Iíve written for our Lenten devotional, and itís been hard to think of a message that seemed meaningful enough to encourage or inspire someone else. As I considered what I could share, one period of time kept returning to mind and now, looking back, there is no doubt that God was in charge of the mystery.
After Randy and I had been married for a couple of years, we wanted to start a family. We were in our 20s then. It never crossed my mind that I couldnít get pregnant Ö until I didnít. Little, if any, information was available about infertility, and it certainly wasnít a topic out there for public discussion. Over time, we investigated every possible cause, and there just wasnít one. It was a frustrating, overwhelming time for all of us - our doctor included.
At the time this was going on, I was teaching in one of Wichitaís large public high schools. I was surrounded every day by 1,800 teenagers and all the accompanying enthusiasm, drama, daily struggles, aspirations, and questions. In the midst of those 1,800 students were a rather high number of pregnant teenage girls, most of whom I saw every day. I have to confess there were days when I vented to God that ďthis is just not fair.Ē Iím pretty sure I shared that thought with friends and family as well. It was not easy to step back and accept the idea that God might have a different plan in mind.
Time went on (almost 10 years) and we continued to explore every option we could find Ė and afford Ė even starting the process of adoption. Questions, prayers, and conversations with God continued. I think I almost became resigned to the fact that we were not going to have children.
Then - and I can only put this in Godís hands (because the doctor had no explanation for it) Ė I found myself pregnant. I can remember refusing to believe the test I took at home until I had been to the doctor. I can remember hissurprise and disbelief! We were overjoyed, but we remained a bit cautious until the successful arrival of a healthy baby boy. As if that wasnít enough of a blessing, God stepped in again and sent us a baby girl a few years later. Again, the doctor had no explanation for how this had occurred. Looking back, I have no doubts.
It happened in Godís time - not in ours. God knew the time was right and knew we were ready to be parents. Those two children have now grown into adulthood and are sharing the gifts God gave them with the world. It is my hope that God will continue to watch over all of us, that we will be open to all of his mysteries and will share them with others as they impact our lives.
Ruth Ann Koepsel
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